What ' s Your Story? The stories we tell each other - and the stories we tell ourselves - are often based on what we in truth believe. Our worldview allows us to see things through our own cerise - colored glasses, especially when it comes to pay. Schema is a word in psychology that describes quantum of several concepts including:
An organized marking of deliberation or behavior.
A structured cluster of pre - conceived ideas.
A mental structure that represents some aspect of the world.
A specific knowledge structure or logical representation of my self.
A mental framework centering on a specific keynote
Structures that harmonize our learning and assumptions about something.
Your story, and mine, is the starting point for interpreting and processing information. Our stories influence goods we regard, perceive, and do. When I meet with people, I recurrently ask them a couple of questions: " What are some of your early memories about check? " and " What are some ways those experiences involve your attitudes and choices about green stuff today? " I ' ve been bothered at some of the stories people have told me, and I ' ve also been amazed at their insights about the life - changing impact of these experiences.
A Beautiful Ballerina Story
Kim told me that when she was about five years old, her aunt suggested that she save some of her 25 - cent allowance each week to buy something she really wanted. Instantly, she knew exactly what that would be: a ballerina watch! She had seen it at a store for $3. 25. Kim saved her money every week, and in exactly thirteen weeks, she and her aunt marched into the store to buy the watch. Kim reflected, " To this day, I ' ve always realized that to get something I really want, I have to be disciplined to save for it. That ' s a lesson I learned from my aunt and a pretty pink ballerina watch. "
Financial Child Abuse
Janice told me about a friend who was repeatedly abused sexually by her father. The day after each encounter, her father bought her something nice to buy her silence. Today, years later, whenever she ' s anxious, Janice ' s friend spends money on herself so she ' ll feel better. The connection between the pain of abuse and gifts from her dad is still riveted on her soul and her spending habits. The trail of her maxed - out credit cards leads directly back to those days when her father tried to put salve on her pain and his guilt by buying her nice things.
Some of us can easily think of our " first memories " when we were very young, but others more easily recall the delight of getting their first paycheck from their first job in high school or the finances related to some other important event in their lives. Most of us can remember several events pertaining to money that shaped our lives. The important issue is to reflect on events that are important enough for us to remember them. Each of these is significant in more ways than we first imagine.
The questions I ask my clients are helpful to everybody, but they may be especially helpful to those who want to understand why they experience certain emotions and behaviors in the money department. Sometimes when I talk about finances ( and specifically spending habits ) to people, some of them shake their heads and tell me, " I don ' t know why in the world I do some of the things I do. Sometimes I buy things even though I know I can ' t afford them. It just doesn ' t make sense. " But actually, if we connect the dots of our present attitudes and behaviors to important moments in our past, it might make perfect sense! With those insights, we more clearly see our choices so we can make better decisions.
It takes a little time and effort to think, reflect, and write out your story but the benefits can be very rewarding when it comes to your finances. I hope this article will make a difference in your life. Based on the hundreds of stories people have shared with me over the years, I ' m convinced that it does make a difference when you take time to write it out. So, What ' s Your Story? And, how does your story impact the way you manage money?
