Monday, October 8, 2012

How to Write a Terrifying Ghost Story

Umpteen authors have uttered that no genre is more strenuous to write for than ghost stories. This certainly seems to be the case; pick up an anthology of short ghost stories, and individual a select few will be genuinely scary. Others will rely prominent descriptions of puncture or vile acts, but these alone are not enough to largely frighten. So what does it booty? Construe on...

Fear of the Undistinguished

Everyone is scared of different things, with a few universal commonalities. Maybe the biggest one is this: we fear what we do not ken. If you anticipate of some of the scariest movies you have empirical, you will grasp that the parts that well relinquish you inspirit bumps are the moments leading up to a big terrify. It is the anticipation, due to you don ' t know what is flurry to happen next.

Not conscious. That is key. Do not be to maintain information. Avid readers have active imaginations, so use that against them. You do not have to describe everything; your readers will fill in the gaps themselves, and I guarantee you that they will be more frightened by what they come up with than anything you can conjure. After all, they know what scares them most, and you do not.

Make sure you do not withhold too much information, however. You have to give your audience ' s imaginations something to work with. It is a balancing act that can only be perfected through reading some truly scary ghost stories and practice.

To help with this balance, consider describing things that are not, in themselves, frightening. For instance, the short story Dancing Men by Glen Hirshberg describes the motion of a wooden carving - a harmless thing if ever there was one. The manner in which the author executed the description, however, combined with the setting and other elements of the story, was so haunting it may as well have been a soul - sucking specter.

Now, there are exceptions to every rule, and this is... no exception. Sometimes, describing the ghost is exactly what you need. This is something you have to judge for yourself.

Another exception: while describing a ghost ' s appearance may be the a mistake, consider describing something else related to it, like the sound it makes or the way it smells.

Setting

When writing a ghost story, a genre plagued by clichs, strive to come up with a setting that is spooky without resorting to the typical haunted house on a stormy night. Find ways to make ordinary locations scary. The short ghost story Harry by Rosemary Timperley takes place on a warm sunny day, and is no less effective for it. In fact, the author uses the blinding sun and bright colors as a point of horror for the main character. An every day setting can make your tale more believable, which is vital if you are to draw your reader into your fictional world.

Remember, there are exceptions to every rule. An unbelievable location can work if you make it believable, or use it to enhance the mystery. Be careful though! People are not as easily frightened by rehashed descriptions of haunted houses. They know what to expect, which prepares them for the scares, which in turn makes them less effective.

Emotion

Emotion is important in any form of literature, and ghost stories even more so. This is one rule that has no exceptions or caveats. If you want your audience to be scared, you must successfully convey that your protagonist is terrified! First person narratives are especially good at this, but that doesn ' t mean a third or second person story won ' t work.

The Twist

It would be sad if someone read your ghost story and forgot about it the next day. To prevent this tragic outcome, leave your reader with a surprise ending or haunting last sentence. Spend lots of time on this. This can be the perfect moment to give your audience goose bumps.

Conclusion

Writing a good ghost story can be a taxing venture, but causing your readers peer over their shoulder in dark hallways is totally worth it. To sum up, here are the main things to keep in mind when writing a ghost story. Remember, there are exceptions to every rule:

People fear what they do not know - use your reader ' s imagination against them!

Stormy nights and haunted houses can work, but try to avoid clichs.

Make your reader feel what the main character feels - utter terror!

Make a lasting impression with a haunting revelation at the end.

INDIVIDUAL AND SOCIETY IN THE NOVELS OF MANJU KAPUR

INDIVIDUAL AND SOCIETY IN THE NOVELS OF MANJU KAPUR Manju Kapur has joined the growing quantity of women writers from India, like Shashi Despande, Arundhati Roy, Githa Hariharan, Shobba De On whom the counterpart of the suffering but stoic women eventually breaking habitual boundaries has had, a representative impact. They invigorated the English utterance to suit representations and narration of what they felt about their women and their lives in post modern India. In a culture station temperament and prated have repeatedly remained outsider ideas and marital bless and the women ' s role at home is a central target. These present - day women authors are now knowing themselves freely and boldly and on a variance of themes without adopting feminist postures. Manju Kapur ' s novels acquire a convincing new thrust when study in the point of representation of crisscross dogmas of cultural critical thinking. Manju Kapur ' s novels furnish examples of a total radius of attitudes towards the importation of tradition. However, Mrs. Kapur seems aware of the detail that the women of India have indeed achieved their success in sixty years of Independence, but if there is to be a true female independence, overmuch much remains to be done. The conflict for autonomy and separate singularity remains and unfinished combat. Women below the venerable pressure and upper hand were, subjected exceptionally much more burnts and social ostracism. They were discriminated and were biased in lien of their women. The life women Lived and struggled subservient the oppressive mechanism of a closed society were reflected in the novels of Manju Kapur. Bewitching into account the complexity of life, different histories, cultures and different structures of values, the women ' s matter, despite basic federation needs to be tackled in relation to the socis - cultural longitude. The impact of patriarchy on the Indian Society varies from the one in the west. Manju Kapur has her own concerns, priorities through chipper over their own ways of dealing with the predicament of their women protagonists. My purpose is to study individual and society in the novels of Manju Kapur. I have taken three novels of Manju Kapur entitled " Laborious Daughters Married Woman and Home " for this whyfor. JUSTIFICATION Manju Kapur ' s female protagonists are mainly educated, aspiring individual caged with in the confines of a conservative society. Their education leads them to independent thinking for which their family and society become covetous of them. They effort between tradition and modernity. It is their individual combat with family and society through which they plunged into a impassioned effort to carve an personality for themselves because proficient women with faultless backgrounds. The novelist has portrayed her protagonists in that a woman moved in the conflict between the passions of the flesh and a yearning to be a part of the political and intellectual movements of the day. MANJU KAPUR LIFE & WORKS Manju Kapur teaches English literature at Miranda Bullpen College, Delhi University. Her first novel ' Arduous Daughters ' plain huge international acclaim. This novel was published in 1998. Her second novel ' A Married Women ' was published in 2002. Her question novel ' Home ' was published in 2006. ' Strenuous Daughters ' was awarded the Division Writers Prize for the best first book ( Eurasia ) and was a numeral one best seller in India. Minx is married to The eye Nidhi Dalmia and lives in New Delhi. The portrayal of woman in Indian English fiction through the silent suffer and up holder of the tradition and mean values of family and society has undergone a tremendous change and is no longer presented since a passive crasis. Kamala Markandaya, Nayantara Sehgal, Anita Desai, Shashi Despande and divers women because an individual rebelling rail the habitual role, breaking the silence of suffering upstream to variation out of the caged existence and asserting the individual self. This women is not easy to be herself and hereafter does not intention to break up the family ties. Since Gandhiji helped the women to irascible the beginning of family life and variation out into the outmost world of exemption tussle and social reform, the woman is presented with varied opportunities not sole today but and yesterday during play movement. Hereafter writing in 1998, Manju Kapur, in her novels presents women who try to constitute their own identity. The women of India have indeed achieved their success in half a century of Independence, but if there is to be a true female, independence, much remains to be done. The fight for autonomy remains an unfinished combat. I In her quest of identify, Virmati the central character of the novel, rebels against tradition. She is impelled by the inner need to feel loved as an individual rather than as a responsible daughter. The title of the novel ' Difficult Daughters ' is an indication to the message that a woman, who tries in search of an identity, is branded as a difficult daughter by the family and the society as well. ' Difficult Daughters ' is the story of a young woman, named virmati born in Amritsar into an austere and high mined household. The story tells how she is torn between family duty, the desire for education and ellicit love. This is a story of sorrow, love and compromise. The major portion deals with Virmati ' s love affairs with professor and rest part describes fighting struggle for freedom. Virmati is the elderest daughter of Kasturi and Suraj Prakash. Kasturi has eleven children. One after another she gives birth to children and thus the whole burden of household work increases over Virmati, being the elderest daughter. Due to her busy routine she does not do well in her studies and fails. She falls in love with a professor, a man who is already married. He sublets a portion of Virmati ' s house. Thus professor develops on intimate relationship with Virmati and decides an appropriate place for regular meeting. Here Virmati ' s parents decides to marray her to an engineer Inderjeet but due to the death in his family marriage is postponed for two years. During this period Virmati passes her FA exam and denies for marriage. Professor insists Virmati on being firm. Now Virmati becomes mentally disturb and goes to Tarashika and drowns herself. She is escaped by the servants of her grand father Lala Divan Chand and returns to her house at Lepel Griffin Road. Everybody inquires the reason and finally she declares that the does not like the boy and wants to study further. So marriage is settled with Indumati, the second daughter. Now Kasturi has to go with Virmati to Lahore for getting her admit in RBSL college and principal assures Kasturi that there will be no problem and she has her eye fixed firmly on each one. Sakuntala who has been a source of inspiration for Virmati, visites her regularly. Professor ' s course of meeting to Viru has yet not stopped and during this period she becomes pregnant. She becomes restless and with the help of her room mate Swarnlata she gets abortion. After completing her B. T. she returns to Amritsar and is offered the principal ship of a college, she joins it but in Sultanpur too Harish visits her and there meetings are observed by Lalaji. She is dismissed so she decides to go to Nariniketan but on the way she meets Harish ' s close friend Poet who is already aware of their intimate relationship. So he does not let her go and calls Harish. He performs all the rituals of marriage. Professor with Virmati returns home. During her conjugal life Virmati feels that it would have been better if she had not been married with Harish. After sometime she gives birth to a daughter Ida. And at the beginning of the novel this girl Ida ponders over her mother ' s life. Virmati has to fight against the power of the mother as well as the oppressive forces of patriarchy symbolized by the mother figure. The rebel in Virmati might have actually exchange one kind of slavery for another. But towards the end she becomes free, free even from the oppressive love of her husband. Once she succeed in doing that, she gets her husband all by herself, her child the reconciliation with her family. In the patriarchal Indian Society marriage is a means of deliverance from being socially condemned and it relieves a woman from the sense of insecurity and uncertainty. To the older generation marriage is no reason to rebel, it was accepted as a part of life ' s pleasere and was a phase of initiating certain Dharmas associated with social and religious institutions. Off course love was not the prerequisite or a desired basis for marriage. If Virmati ' s mother, Kasturi and Ganga ( Prof. Harish Chandra ' s first wife ) seeks pleasure in domestic up doings. Virmate struggles between the physical and moral, the head and the heart. Finally she gives way to her heart and body. II In her novel ' A Married Woman ' Manju Kapur has taken writing as a protest, a way of mapping from the point of a woman ' s experience. Kanpur negotiates different issues emerging out of a socio - political upheaval in her country. In a realistic way, she has described the Indian male perception of women as a holy cow even though women are not very interested in history and those in power trying to twist and turn historical facts to serve their own purposes. Ms. Manju Kapur ' s second novel ' A Married Woman ' is the story of Astha an educated, upper middle class, working Delhi woman. As a girl, she was brought up with large supplements of fear. She was her parents only child. Her education, her character, her health, her marriage these were her parent ' s burdens. But like a common school going girl she often imagines of romantic and handsome Young man holding her in his strong manly embrace. In her adolescence she falls in love with a boy of her age. Day and night the though of him kept her insides churning. She was unable to eat, sleep or study. In the main time she is emotionally engage with Rhan and they enjoy physical relationship. This relationship is finished within a few days as Rohan moves to Oxford for further studies and her marriage is settled with Hemant who belongs to a bureaucrat family. They live in Vasant Vihar, a posh colony in New Delhi. They start their married life and soon Astha is fed up with it. Astha starts teaching in a public school after much resistance from her husband and her parents. During her staying in this school she participates in a workshop on communalism which is being led by an intellectual artiste Aijaz Akhtar Kha, the founder of ' The Street Theater Group '. Aijaz teaches history and during the holidays he performs plays in school, slums, factories, streets small town and villages to create empathy and to generate social awareness. Although Astha and been a mother of a son and a daughter by this time. She is festinated by the multifaceted personality of Aijaz. But ferocious soon this relationship is over as the workshop finishes. After a few days Astha reads the news of Aijaz ' s murder. Babri Masjid is demolished in Ayodhya and there is a lot of turmoil throughout the country. To establish religious harmony and social integration processions are organized by ' The Street Theatre Group '. In one of such processions Astha meets Pipeelika and she comes to know that she is the widow of Aijaz. She feels great empathy to Pipeelika and a powerful physical relationship is establish between them. This relationship is a challenge for her husband and family. They both live together and deep emotional attachment develops between them. Astha is on the verge of loosing her conventional marriage. Pipeelika leaves India to study abroad and Astha returns back to her family. ' A Married Woman ' is beautifully, honest and seductive story of love and deep attachment, set at a time of political and religious turmoil. III ' Home ' is the third novel, by Manju Kapok. This is fast moving story which makes an ordinary middle class family ' s life in Delhi. The main character or the patriarch of a cloth business, Banwarilal lives in New Delhi neighborhood of Karol Bagh. Banwarilal believes in the old ways and is the firm believer of that men work out of the home, woman within. Men carry forward the family line, women enable their mission. His two sons unquestioningly follow their father but their wives do not. Both brothers carry their lives as well as business according to the wishes of their father. As the time passes Banwarilal dies and the whole burden of the family comes to Yashpal, being the elder one. He has one sister who becomes widow in her early life. She has a child named Vicky. They also join them in their house in Karol Bagh. At the beginning of the story Sona and Rupa both sisters are childless. They could not conceive for a long time. Sona keeps but it is of no use. Sona belongs to a rich family in comparison of her sister Rupa. Rupa ' s husband is an educated man. They passes their lives happily. After a long time Sona gives birth to Nisha and then to Virat. Nisha is physically tortured by Vicky, her cousin. She feels mentally disturb so she is sent the Rupa ' s home for a change. Here she gets education well. After some time she returns to her home where no one pays much attention towards her studies and she gets compartment in two subjects. She is guided by Premnath. She passes in it and enters in college for getting higher education. She meets a boy and decides to marry him ignoring his caste and creed. Thus the novel depicts how family norms are is ignored by the new generation. Manju Kapur ' s novels present the changing image of women moving away from traditional portrayals of enduring, self sacrificing women towards self assured assertive and ambitious women making society aware of their demands and in this way providing a medium for self expression in the works of Manju Kapur. It will be interesting to note man woman relationship in the three novels of Manju Kapur. As an element of feminism especially in the realm of biological, sexual, cultural and racial aspects will also be probed in the three novels.?

CHAPTER DIVISION CHAPTER 1: Individual and Political Arena CHAPTER 2: Individual and Social Space CHAPTER 3: Individual Dynamic of Family CHAPTER 4: Use of Language CHAPTER 5: Conclusion?

BIBLOGRAPHY ( A ) PRIMARY SOURCES: 1. Kapur Manju: ' Difficult Daughters ' New Delhi: Penguin, 1998. 2. Kapur Manju: ' A Married Women ' New Delhi: India Ink, 2002. 3. Kapur Manju: ' Home ' New Delhi: Random House, 2006. ( B ) SECONDAY SOURCES: 1. Beauvaur, Simonde, " The Second Sex " Tran H. M. Parshley Harmondsworth 1971 - London Pan Books 1988. Carbyn Heiburn: Marriage and Contemporary Fiction, Critical Inquiry, 5 No. 2 ( Winter 1978 ). 2. Grimke, Sarah Letters on the Equality of the sexes and the condition of women New York, Burt Franklin 1970. 3. Gur Pyari Jandian: Manju Kapur ' s Difficult Daughters: A Study is Transition from chaos to integration: The Common Wealth Review Vol. 12 No. 1, 2000 - 2001. 4. Hasin, Attia. Sunlight on A Broken Column, New Delhi: Arnold Heinemann, 1987. 5. Jaidev " Problematizing Feminism Gender and Literature, ed. Iqbal Kapur, Delhi, B. R. Publishing Corporation, 1992. 6. Jandial Gur Pyari " The Novels of Shashi Deshpande and Manju Kapur. Atlantic Literary Review. 7. Kakar, Sudhir " Feminine Identity in India " Women in Indian Society A Reader, Ed. Rehana Ghadially, New Delhi: Sage Publications, 1988. p. 44 - 68. 8. Millett, Kate, ' Sexual Politics ' ( Garden City, New York, Double Day, 1970 ). 9. Mukul Kesavan: 50 Years of Indian Writing Edited by R. K. Dhawan, New Delhi: Indian Association for English Studies 2000. 10. Nahal, Chaman, " Feminism " Feminism in English Fiction: Forms and variations " Feminism and Recent Fiction in English ed, Sushila Singh, New Delhi Prestige, Books, 1991. 11. Palkar, Sarla. " Beyond Purdah: Sunlight On A Broken Column, Margins of Erasure Ed. Jasbir Jain and Amina Amin, New Delhi: Stcrling Pub Pvt. Ltd. 1995. 12. Seema Malik " Crossing Patriarchal Threshold: Glimpses of the Incipient New Woman In Manju Kapur ' s Difficult Daughters " Indian Writing in English ed. Rajul Bhargava ( Jaipur, Rawat, 2002 ). 13. Suman Bala and Subhash Chandra, " Manju Kapur ' s Difficult Daughters: A Absorbing Tale of Fact and Fiction: In 50 years of Indian writing edited by R. K. Dhawan, IAES, New Delhi, 1999. 14. Sumita Pal " The Mother: Daughters Conflict in Manju Kapur ' s Difficult Daughter ' s in Indian Writing in the new Millenium ( Edited by R. K. Dhawan ) IAES, New Delhi 2000.

15. Sushila Singh " Recent Trends in Feminest Through " Indian women Novelist ed. R. K. Dhawan ( New Delhi, Prestige 1991 ) Set I. 16. Uma Paramaswaran Review of Difficult Daughters: World Literature Today No. 2 Spring 1999. 17. Veena Das: Critical Events: An Anthropological Perspective On Contemporary Indian OUP Delhi 1995.

iDE Success Story Busu Gelato - Inspirational Entrepreneur

Mother, farmer and entrepreneur in remote Ethiopia: Busu Gelato, 50, has rancid drought into profit to contribute a more fitting living for her 8 children.

At iDE we partner with small - scale entrepreneur farmers living in drought stricken areas across the globe. Our thin management and recovery systems lift communities out of insufficiency by tackling one of the biggest causes of meagerness: particular access to fresh sprinkle.

When it comes to embodying the spirit of what we do, we understand farming entrepreneur Busu Gelato is pulchritudinous monumental.

We first met Busu when nymph was growing maize and haricot moolah on a small plot of land during the rainy season. When the rain stopped she was irrigating using buckets from the nearby lake.

Her average annual income was between 42 and 54.

However after purchasing an iDE treadle pump with a micro loan of 72 facilitated by us, she was able to access and utilize water more efficiently, enabling her to grow green peppers, tomatoes and onions in the dry season when prices are highest.

This increased her income dramatically - she earned 144 within just 4 months and was quickly able to pay off her loan.

The impact of this new income was immediate: not only could she feed her family; she bought a donkey and cart for renting to transport goods and people to markets, and built a corrugated iron sheet roofed house.

Busu ' s talent as an entrepreneur blossomed, and she has now opened her own small shop selling soap, coffee and sugar.

Together, we transformed Busu ' s quality of life. All she needed was a little guidance and support. Our goal is to free millions more from poverty by providing the assistance they need to become entrepreneurs too.

Busu: - IDE really opened our eyes. For long we were living in a dark area. Farmers working with IDE are making good progress. In the future we would like support in extending our land - the kind of help we need is training, visiting other farmers, advice in what to grow and how. IDE should stay with us as we make further progress with irrigation and vegetables. '

Amazing lady. Awesome entrepreneur.

Entrepreneur support: Find out more how we assist impoverished small - scale farmers around the world at iDE UK

J COLE ' S DEBUT - THE INSIDER STORY

The talented rapper J Cole has been wooing the music industry for years now. With an extraordinary knack to write rhymes and an uncanny expertise to tell stories is a way that leaves the listener gripped to his every tete-a-tete, J Cole has been in love with rap music since he was thirteen. Inspired by the hip hop greats like Canibus and Tupac Shakur, Cole was unique 15 when his notebooks could be plant filled with his rhymes. But he had no beats of his own to enter them with. That ' s when his mother bought him an 808 beat mechanism so he could produce music himself. By the time he was 17, he was stint J Cole songs on various internet forums unbefitting the proper name " Therapist ".

Close was his indignation towards his music that he rolled exterior of Jay - Z ' s Roc the Mic Studio for hours and hoyrs just so that he could give him a beat called " On Top of the World " he had sampled by Idris Muhammad. He simply wanted his so that his mentor - to - be to use it. But nothing speaks of his extraordinary career and unworldly talent better than his songs.

After completing his graduation, Cole started releasing a series of mixtapes to grab the attention of the music world and establish himself as a singer. The first of these - - The Come Up ' and - The Warm Up ' on received positive reviews and a significant following. He appeared on the first J Cole music video of his first single " Who Dat ". This was the time when he started receiving critical acclaim and was even awarded the UMA Male Artist of the Year thanks to his heralded The Warm Up mixtape and a high profile deal with Jay - Z ' s label Roc Nation at the 2010 Underground Music Awards. J. Cole released his third official mixtape titled Friday Night Lights. The tape included features from Drake, Wale & Omen with most of the production being handled by Cole himself. His next venture - Cole World - the sideline story ' was an even bigger hit. He came up with a song titled - Return of Simba ' - the third in the " Simba series " following - Simba ' and - Grown Simba. ' The album was to be his official debut in the music world and even featured his mentor Jay - Z in one of the tracks. In addition to this, two days before his album ' s release, Cole released a J Cole music video for the iTunes bonus track " Daddy ' s Little Girl ". Finally when his long - awaited debut album titled was released on September 27, 2011, it debuted at number one on the US Billboard 200, Top R&B Albums and Top Rap Albums chart, selling more than 217, 000 in its first week sales. He even received a nomination for Best New Artist at the 54th Grammy Awards. Now that ' s what I call a sparkling debut!

J Cole pictures, J Cole music videos and J Cole songs have been creating ripples in the waters of the hip hop music industry and continue to rock the fans till this day. And hopefully he will continue to do so for many more years to come.

About the Author:

James Griffith is a freelance writer from London specialising in writing hiphop r&b music and uk grime music articles. Over the years he has developed an extensive knowledge of urban music and urban music artists and is considered one of the leading authorities on this subject. With a passion for Hip hop and R&B music since childhood, James Griffith brings great knowledge and a great understanding of this exciting music genre and his articles are both informative and entertaining too.

It Is The Story of Last Month ( December ) 2009

It is the story of last month ( December ) 2009. I and my familiar were returning from the bender. It was night and we were drunk again. Jessica was driving a car and I was looking into the GPS ( Global positioning System ) and telling her to maneuver deserved or single. I was japing her; suddenly bird shouted and stopped car. I shouted at her, - Are you in your sanity? - Jessica replied, - I maxim an refrigerate wall over here that is why I pushed brakes. - I further asked to her, - Are you freaky fantastic, if you have pragmatic an harden wall, inasmuch as station that wall is honorable now? - Jessica started crying and hence missy spoken, - why would I lie to you, I promise that I have seen an ice wall. - Then we both got into the car and I sat on driving seat. We both were silently moving forward, suddenly we saw one lady, she was asking for the lift. As we were afraid so we ignored her and we kept on moving forward. Soon, we reached home. Jessica was not feeling well so I suggested to her that for today ' s night it would be better for her to stay with me at my home. I asked her to sleep on my bed and I was sleeping on the floor beside her. After one hour she screamed and woke up. I took her to the physician immediately. Doctor suggested her to give rest only under the presence of any one. Next morning, we both had to go to University, but we did not go. I was with Jessica in the hospital. My university ' s friend called me and said that professor has given all of us an assignment, which has to be done by today and this assignment, will be done individually. I thanked to my friend and disconnected the phone. I was thinking that what I should do right now. It was not the right time to tell Jessica about the assignment. Doctor called me in his room and said that whatever Jessica had seen there, was true. I shocked to hear the words of Doctor. Doctor held my hands and said that, - the way which you chose was haunted way. You people should not come from that way, and now you would not talk anything about this matter from Jessica. - I thanked to the Doctor and told him about new problem of submission of assignment. Doctor suggested me to buy essays online. I again thanked to my Doctor, I immediately type write an essay for me on the internet, there were lots of websites which were providing essay writing help. I submitted my and Jessica ' s assignment to Professor. After one week when Jessica was completely feeling normal, I told Jessica about haunted way and submission of assignments. She was really thanked me and hugged me with love. And she said that, - I will never forget this act of kindness of yours in life - I said that friends are made to help and trust.

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Improve Your Life By Changing Your Story

What do you tell yourself and others about your life? Do you paint a picture of your life seeing happy and cheering or for somber and sad?

It ' s not what happens to us in this life but it is what we do with and about what happens to us in this life. Life is not unbiased. Never has been. Never will be. That ' s just the way it is. So if you don ' t like the hand that you ' ve been dealt you have a right to complain all you want but that won ' t change circumstances and it won ' t make it better. It will make it worse.

Our lives are defined by the stories we tell ourselves and others. Good things happen to everybody and bad things happen to everybody. But it ' s the story we tell that emphasizes the event.

We ' ve all heard inspiring stories about people who have overcame hardships and difficulties. Those are the stories everyone likes to hear. They remind us of the triumph of the human spirit. On the other hand we all hear stories of gloom and doom from often well - meaning friends, loved ones, relatives. We hear exaggerated stories of sickness and despair. But all of the exaggeration of the bad brings more bad to your life. You get what you focus on. You see what you look for. If you are focusing on " how bad it is " that is what you are getting, more of " how bad it is ". If you are focused on the good that is what you get more of " the good ".

You can choose the stories you tell in your own life. You can choose to downplay the bad things and focus on the good things.

You can choose to put your emotions into the happy and joyful things and minimize your emotional words and stories about the bad things. We all have things we don ' t like and things that happen to us that we would rather not have in our lives, but our lives go on. And our stories go on. The definition of what happened to you lies in the story you tell about it. When you change your story, you change your life because you changed the meaning and the definition of what happened.

Viktor Frankl, the holocaust survivor and the author of the great book " Man ' s Search for Meaning " said

" Everything can be taken from a man or a woman but one thing: the last of human freedoms to choose one ' s attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one ' s own way. "

Mr. Frankl survived one of most horrific events of all times. He could have told a horrendous story but he chose not to. Somehow he found meaning in it and he chose for his story to be a triumph of the human spirit.

May he inspire us all.