I always knew. I knew that there was something that was different about me. But for years, I remained in the closet. Although it may come whereas a surprise to multifarious of you, I was a inscrutable kid. I was both feared and collectible, a insecure combination that rife priests and politicians would cream for. I did the entire Goth item before it was identical popular.
Since I am naturally brunet, it was an easy look to pull off. But these things were just lie low. The garb and the attitude was just war emulsion that I wore to fend off anyone who tried to get close to me. I didn ' t want anyone to know the real me. Deep down inside I knew what I was, a spiritualist who was too cowardly to come out of the closet.
Over the years, my dark clothes turned into expensive stiff two - piece power suits. My talent for being feared and admired enabled me to become the ultimate corporate bitch, closing deals before the stock market rang its bell. I was a top producer, with dozens of frenemies. I had the life that many people dreamed of. Despite all this, my love for spirituality continued to grow.
I knew that I was in serious trouble when I found myself in some East Village loft, sitting crossed leg in a man made circle. We were all holding hands while meditating to the sounds of the Mediterranean Sea. It felt great! How could something so good, be so wrong? I wanted to feel that way all the time, but if I expressed how I really felt, people would think that I was loony. My fears of looking and or going crazy motivated me to get some counseling, spiritual counseling.
I spoke to a guru who had been practicing for a very long time. He sat me down and cleared everything up for me with one powerful sentence. " You have nothing. " What! I couldn ' t believe it. The losers who came into the bank asking for money had nothing. I had everything, a great career, flaky friends, tension headaches, and money that I spent on useless things that didn ' t make me happy.
Then, I realized that I truly had nothing. It was an aha moment. I was like the clients that I hated, high risk, potentially dangerous, and foolishly believing that I could get money with lunch and a smile. I had nothing when I wasn ' t connected to the source. For me, the source was my ancestors.
They have the capital and resources to support me in any endeavor that I choose to partake in. But I couldn ' t go to them with a half ass business plan. I had to give them something, prayers, offerings, sacrifices, trust, and love. I had to earn their support. I couldn ' t do it being afraid, or shameful. I couldn ' t do it by being locked in a closet. I needed to tell the world who I was, and I needed to do it loud and proud.
I AM THE OFFSPRING OF MY ANCESTORS!
