Healing Steps To A New Story And A New You

Now some of you know I was injured this winter. The Cliff notes story of what happened is that someone collided with me on the ski slopes which caused a jounce ( and good I was draining my helmet ) and a hole in the lining of my carotid artery wall which closed off the artery and in consequence led to a small stroke. The doctor told me that of three people he knows of that had this duplicate carotid artery tear, one is ok, one is a vegetable, and one is arid. Are you beginning to take in why I am so happy and pleased to be here?

I regularly imagine about how the Act of Attraction applies to my life. So, at first, I just couldnt catch on why I had this adventure and got hit in the head through I was having a outstanding time when the transaction happened. I tried to understand what the universe was immense to tell me that I just wasnt getting. Following all, the universe hit me in the head, I brainwork.

As I spent various hours surfing the couch this winter I meditated on this confusion. I hope back over the previous extent which had been one of the most wearing years of my life. I began to be aware the mistake was related to the lastingness long stress and the story I continued to tell about it.

What have I learned from my experience?

1 ) First, I was reminded that I really need to take better care of myself. All last year I worked long hours, was chronically stressed, and pushed myself really hard despite the death of my beloved, Bob. I just kept going like the energizer bunny.

2 ) Now I limit my work load and have a waiting list ( there are 4 people on it right now ). I get more rest. And I added walking and dancing back into my routine.

3 ) I focus on telling my new story instead of my old one. Instead of constantly thinking about the bad things that have happened I give more energy to what I want to create. I focus more on what I DO want instead of what I dont want.

4 ) During my healing journey I imagined myself well again. I imagined my artery completely healed. I envisioned how good it feels to dance. I imagined myself out in nature when I wasnt yet allowed to go for walks. I talked out loud to myself about how good it feels when my body is perfectly well and how I love feeling well and enjoy the sense of well being and ease.

5 ) Instead of telling the same old story of whats been going on in my life over and over again, I realized I need to tell the story how I want it to be. I looked at and spoke about how I want things to be and practiced feeling like I already have them. What we see in our lives is a reflection of our chronic thoughts and beliefs. I made my thoughts and my story positive.

6 ) I focused on the positives. I thought of one thing I could still do right then. I thought of people I could ask for help if I needed it. I talked out loud to myself about the amazing ability of my body to heal. I told my self all is well, I am okay, things are getting easier every day, I am never alone. I reached for a feeling of relief.

7 ) I also continued to express gratitude about the positive things in the situation. I was thankful I was alive. I was thrilled that there just happened to be a dental / facial cosmetic surgeon in the Emergency Room when I arrived who stitched up the gaping tear in my lip. I was thankful for all the people at the ski lodge who took care of me that first night and for the couple who helped to drive me home from VT. I was grateful for the sunshine coming through my window as I surfed my couch. I was thankful for the friends who visited me in the hospital, gave me a ride home, took care of my mail and cockatiel while I was in the hospital, and shoveled my driveway. I was grateful for my new level of compassion for my clients with head injury. I could go on. But I think you get the idea.

Last week the Neurologist told me my artery healed about 2 months faster than originally predicted. Yahoo!

I know my work to rewrite my story, to imagine myself well and healed, my gratitude, as well as my efforts to interrupt the chronic patterns of negative thought helped me heal faster than expected.

Action

Think about how you tell your story. Notice how often you fall back to telling your same old negative story. Tell your new story. It is amazing how fast you can see the results. When I tell people I feel great ( even if I am not all that great right then ) I actually feel much better than when I tell them how bad I have been feeling. Try it for yourself and see how it works for you.

When The Heart Heals A Widow ' s Story - Excerpted From The Healing Power Of Love

At this point, widowed for about 18 months, I met Hal the night I attended my last eradication backing collection meeting. I was this day affected to his energy. We seemed to have a lot in common, both professionally and emotionally. I gave him my business card with the witting feeling that he would call, but I had no idea if it would be in a season or a while. I purchase a lifes philosophy that things happen when they should.

Hal called about six months succeeding and we had bee together; stuff moved very rapidly, powerful rapidly for my comfort, but I felt emotionally defended with him and we connected hearty on profuse levels because of all we had in common.

Over this time, the pain of losing my spouse had grown softer and the sweet memories stronger, but I did feel a need to talk to my adult step - daughters. I wanted to know how they felt about my becoming romantically involved again, and to assure them that my new feelings for Hal did not in any way change how I felt about their father, or themselves. As for myself, I didnt feel disloyal to my late husband, or feel that my new relationship in any way lessened my love for him. My step - daughters not only understood my need to re - create a life that once again embraced a loving, romantic relationship, but encouraged it. Bless their hearts, for they instinctively knew that I wasnt trying to replace their father or the relationship we had created among ourselves and continued to treasure, that I would simply be adding another dimension to my life.

My late spouse wasnt retired, so our days had been traditionally structured. Although I have always worked at home, I liked knowing I had work time to myself. Hal is retired and since Im self - employed, we can live our lives spontaneously. The challenge was in my not being able, or even willing, to be as available for Hal as he would have liked. My late spouses personality was entirely different from Hals, but I found each to be compatible with mine. Hal is much more romantically demonstrative, which I enjoy. However, I dont compare the two, and so, the difference has not impacted our relationship.

Moving from intellectual concept to emotional reality, overlapping my loving and my grieving, required a giant leap of faith when it came to becoming involved in this new relationship. I was scared. When I met Hal, almost a year and a half into my mourning, I was finally doing okay. I had a satisfying career, good and loving friends and family around me, a satisfying balance in my life. I was feeling good, strong and grateful for the joy that my life once again embraced.

No longer did I think sex would be part of my life, and that was fine, as I was putting my creative energies into other aspects of my life. While the idea of perhaps loving someone was always a possibility, intellectually, I knew that if it happened, okay, if not, my life was fully satisfying. Well, this new possibility knocked me for a loop; this attraction to Hal was emotional, intellectual, and yes, physical.

Slowly I began to trust and enjoy Hal. Or, perhaps, better said, I began to trust myself again to be emotionally safe in a new relationship and so, I was able to meet him halfway. Its still scary, but my level of comfort continues to grow, as does out relationship.

Excerpted from THE HEALING POWER OF LOVE: Transcending the Loss of a Spouse to New Love by Gloria Lintermans & Marilyn Stolzman, Ph. D., L. M. F. T., Published by Champion Press, Ltd. ( ISBN 1 - 932783 - 51 - 2 ).